21 December 2001

I can't wait to leave this house. Staying here much longer is just going to make me sad by the minute.

Went to pick up Dad's car in Dungun yesterday. I never thought that Dungun was so far away. Grandma insist of going along with me for some reason. I assume she's worried that I might not return back safely. Running out of bus, we took a taxi there. Met this guy who also got some business to do with his car. Coincidentally we were going to the same place. Grandma couldn't have thanked that guy enough. He lend me his hand phone to call the workshop, paid for our lunch and drove over than halfway home. The kindness of strangers. Back home, Grandma kept telling everybody how we would not survive the journey home had I driven all the way. She would rather sleep by the roadside than have me drive in the rain and all night. Thanks for the confidence Grandma. I'm kinda hurt with her statement. Yes I know you practically raised me but my Mom and Dad are still my parent no matter what. Your mean words about them are just too much to bear. I just couldn't listen to them anymore. Next year I would be coming home for Raya for 4 days max. Before that don't even expect me to come home, ever. Well, not except whenever Linda does return home. I'm tired of hearing all those. Lina and auntie Zura are not helping at all. In fact they've paired up to diss my parent some more. I just can't wait for tomorrow.

It's obvious now. Grandma. We got her respect if we got the money. Just look at her treatment towards Uncle Din's family. Compare it with mine. I'll prove it to you Grandma. I also can be as successful as them. Perhaps even better. Then you'll look differently to me. I'll do it all by myself. I wouldn't go begging for a job to Uncle Din. It's going to be on my own. Grandma is not that mean actually. It's just that sometimes she got carried away with her emotions. I think she should stop being scared of her own daughter. It's partly your fault that Mom is not so close to you.