All this energy, urging me to go to work and make some money. But instead I'm stranded here doing nothing. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my love who insisted. And she'd been so nice paying for the ticket and all. Then again even if I didn't come here I'd be forced to follow Mom and Dad to Penang anyway. So I guess here is better than over there in Penang.
So it's going to be 4 years after all in the university while most of my friends just take 3½ years. I'm not stupid or anything, just lazy or preoccupied with something else (like Civilization III). After that I'm going to get engaged and a couple of month later maybe get married. Judging from my condition right now, who'd think I'll be able to support a family? I can't even support myself. Hey maybe because I'm not employed yet? Whatever it is I've got to finish my studies first. Think I really blew it this semester. Got a certain F for one subject and the others I am least likely to score. I concluded that I just don't spend enough time studying, missed a lot of classes and took my assignments for granted. So there's no better time to start all over again than this new year's day. I don't want to make any resolutions, I'll start doing them right away instead. Just do what you got to do. Happy New Year everybody. Alhamdulillah we made it through another year.
Enough of the celebration. I'm going crazy staying here tonight. Sleepless and cold and nothing to do. Thank God I brought my Walkman along and this journal to keep me sane. Now at least I can listen to Siti Nurhaliza with 'Cuti-cuti Malaysia'. I just fell in love with that song. I don't hate her, do I? I just dislike the people who worships her like Mak Cik (a friend of Linda's). Like you're getting paid for your unhealthy obsession. People like you just make her richer.
Forgot to mention Roslinda sent back all my photos a few days ago. That just hurts even more babe. If you don't like me so much just throw them away or burn them or something. Don't apologize and don't make any contact with me. And I still keep all your pictures FFS. Maybe she's getting married soon, who knows. Not that I care. Wonder who's the unlucky guy. I must warn you she's a little bit disturbed in the head.
No I didn't really mean to say those horrible things. Just a bit frustrated that's all. Rose had bee apologetic to me. So what? I don't want to wish her well, don't want to write back to her and most importantly don't want to have anything to do with her and her crazy brothers again. Her band of brothers who dislike people from Kelantan for no apparent reason. Stupid. I don't even want to think or remember her anymore.
My eyes hurt when I try to force myself to sleep. And the mosquitoes were having a feast on me. Started to think a lot of things before going to sleep. My worries, my debts, my family and my future. Lina got a letter from a lawyer demanding that she pay her TM Touch bills or see them in court. Lucky she still got her study loan money. Her bill was about RM563 and I owe TM Touch a lot more than that I'm afraid. I'm so screwed.
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