9 December 2000

A few days ago I spent 250 ringgit in a single day on my bike. It's the biggest amount I have ever spent so far this semester. Actually the figure is way over 300 ringgit if you count the extra things I spent before this. However my bike looks quite good and new now. A refreshing look, striking red and white like I always wanted all along. I don't mind the money spent, it's the satisfaction that counts. In other news, a few days ago I got my first summons from UPM security. Cost me a dear 15 ringgit. Although that's nothing compared to what I've spent earlier. But I was very mad with that summons. Who do they think they are? Then again I thought they were just doing their job. I have nobody bu myself to blame for parking my bike there.

Guess who's back in town? None other than Miss Rose! Again she came by with her parent which makes it a rather impossible mission for us to meet. I don't want it to be like last time which was really awkward. Not that it concerns me or anything. I wonder if she felt the same, hmmm. Whatever it is she's got one, maybe two days to figure it out cause I sure hell ain't doing the first move.

My desk which I bought just 2 weeks ago had literally fell apart. Let this be a lesson to me. It's the quality not quantity that matters. What's the use of buying cheap stuff when it's almost sure to break in no time. Now I had to buy a new one, a better, sturdy one that is. Imagine what my mates will think of me now.

Don't know why but ever since my bike gone through that make over, I've been crazy about bikes, it's accessories & racing. Tomorrow for example, I'm going to Kajang to get myself a leather jacket. At the moment I feel like asking everybody for a race down the highway. Mental, I know.

And Mr. Sudin forgot to include my name in the roster this week. Silly man. He has no idea how I needed the money now.

3 December 2000

Got a brand new uniform for work yesterday. A nice red and black t-shirt with a cap made from high-quality fabric. Well at least better than the boring plastic one that we've been using. It rained on the way there so I had to stop under a bridge because I really didn't want to get wet to work. It would be really uncomfortable if so.

I called Rose last night and spent 20 ringgit or so in the process. It is simply not going to work for us. She lives so far away and that really doesn't help in this relationship. Just looking at all those loving couple together just makes me plain jealous. Why can't we be like that? Oh yeah, we're a thousand miles apart. I presume Rose felt the same way too. To have a working relationship first you've got to be together. She also said she's got like another 8 months to go before she finishes her diploma and after that if her results were good she's thinking of furthering her studies in UUM up north. Or she could get a job first.

Hello, what's up with that? Just when I started to like her. It's obvious to me that she doesn't seem to make any effort to be nearer to me. She should have if she really likes me that much. Apparently she doesn't. So I guess we're just friends after all. A really close one that is. Now I guess I'll have to find another one. Actually that's what I've been doing all this while or perhaps that's what I thought. To be honest I was hoping like some girl would make the first move like the unfortunate Aida. Too bad Aida didn't meet even one of my stringent requirement. Girls, I could be a very loving person once you get to know me you know. The only problem is who would want some guy with a few missing teeth and numerous scars on his arms? Perhaps my one true love someday? I believe when someone truly loves you she will just like you just the way you are, scars, defects and all. But for now, I think girls run for cover when they see me ha ha!

That said, someday who knew. I'm already 20 years old right now and I think I'm mature enough to stand on my own two feet, listen to my heart and chose between right and wrong. I never forgot my obligations and responsibilities to God and my family and friends and those who depend on me. Think I should be grateful for what I have become and what God has given me. Unlike some people out there.

I said that because yesterday I saw 3 healthy and able-bodied young Malay men came into the store, ordered and ate at the table just like that. Yes sure they are Muslims by birth but that doesn't mean they're Muslims in the true sense. Obviously they didn't bother to do what God has instructed them to do and not do. And the day before I went to this snooker place and saw 3 supposedly students enjoying themselves without a care in the world when they're supposed to be studying and using their parent/loan money on books or something. It's either they're really dumb or they got lost with all the distractions and peer pressure. I felt so grateful.