31 July 2001

She loves me

Yes, abput 12 hours ago, Sharifah Haslinda said so.

23 July 2001

A midsummer night's dream.

I didn't even bothered to see the lecturer about that exam. The night before we went home she told me that her sister's boyfriend will be sending her to the bus station. Naturally I was rather mad. But then she told me also how she'd known him for a while now and even regarded him as a brother. Nevertheless, tired as I am I was sleepless all morning partially due to the thought.

So I met that guy. He was a nice-looking old chap. I'd forgive them instantly. So we went home together. nothing really exciting happened. We just talked now and then. Fell asleep side by side. That's all. Did pretty much nothing at home. Faiz was also at home as well. Finally we got ourselves a VCR player at home albeit 10 years too late. That was courtesy of Uncle Din. How thoughtful of him. Perhaps he just got too much money lying around his house. Or perhaps he bought a brand new one and decided to let go of the old one to us. Thanks anyway.

Sunday morning I sent Faiz to the railway station. Met and old school friend of mine Siti Munirah. I happen to have a little crush on her during primary school. She looked a lot different now, acne and slightly stocky. The day before I took Linda to Pasir Mas for some sight-seeing. We went to the Pasir Mas riverside and enjoyed some quality time together. Then I brought her for a stroll down memory lane before I sent her back. That's when I managed to stay a while, pray, take a peek at her home and get to know her siblings. The girls were quite warm and friendly although her brother looked too shy for words.

Of course Mom and Grandma I came home this time with a girl friend. They thought it would be just another random guy friend. Last night at the bus station I met her entire family who came to send her off. I was rather shy. Later we had a really memorable time together on the bus.

19 July 2001

Mess again

Yesterday I missed another examination because I overslept. I don't know who or what to blame. Heard this lecturer is quite unforgiving when it comes to things like that. I'll just try to give it a shot anyway. Who knows. I'm so broke. If only my rear tyre didn't puncture yesterday. I would still have some moeny. Now I have 5 ringgit left. Barely enoguh to make it to Hentian Putra tomorrow.

I'm already certain that Rose is doing her practical here, somewhere in KL. She just doesn't want to see my face anymore. I have no idea why and she's not telling. Just adds to my hatred even more. I'm just tired about Rose by now. Just go on with this life and leave hers alone. Now that I've got Sharifah to care about. She just become my inspiration at the moment. All this mess would have made me so low if not for her and the thought that tonight we'll be going home to Kelantan together tomorrow. Yes that's correct. She'll be by my side all the way that 300 kilometers. And I admit she haven't contribute anything much but this Kitty necklace and her attention. Still I'm sure it will gradually come as we move on. As I said, it's well too early for that. Then I found out she was also dumped by her boyfriend not long ago. Perhaps she's still hurt from that.

Being so broke truly sucks. Lesson learned, wish me luck.

5 July 2001

Let love leads the way.

I'm tired. Just tired of worrying about being broke all the time. It's time like this that I'm glad that I have someone to distract me from all my worries. Well I'm pretty sure I've got one now. In the beginning she's just somebody who happens to walk before me after I made up my mind to forget about Rose. I thought I would take just about anybody that fits into my criteria. You know, pretty, sweet, friendly, educated and a Liverpool supporter. She pretty much fits into everyone of that, except for the Liverpool part of course. She's not really into the Premier League.

Think I've done so much for her all this time. I thought it was simply going to waste since at times she acted so coldly towards me. At least that's how I see it. Then again at other times, she shines the light into this dark and lonely heart. Perhaps it's because she never had the experience. Perhaps she knew little about being loved and loving back. Perhaps she's still young.

Then suddenly it crossed my mind. It is all up to me to lead the way. It's up to me to show her how wonderful love could be. And I'm doing exactly that. It looks so promising at the moment. The sun is rising on the horizon. There's still a long way to go but we can surely survive if it's already written in heaven. Let us walk together hand in hand. Together. Forever.