29 February 2000

Yesterday evening was the end of our second tests but I'm not jumping with joy yet since I've got the Finals coming up around the corner. Finally, God has answered my prayers. My bank account is finally filled with some money yesterday. Words could not describe how I'm feeling inside right now. At least I'm not so poor as always. That said, I don't think that money will last for long because I've got tons of things to pay this month such as the food pool money and those people I owe.

I sat right beside her in the exam hall last evening. She didn't even threw a single glance at me. I guess she pretended I didn't exist right now. I thought she looked a little sad then. She probably missed her boyfriend or something. Anybody but me hor hor.

I think from now on I better stop lazing around and really concentrate on my studies (whoa!). It's a matter of time before I broke my not-buy-cigarette resolution. The temptation is simply too great to resist. Especially since I've got this little money lying around. Maybe I should start by smoking less. Yeah maybe I should do that.

I stayed up all night and morning today, working on my website v4.0. Although I've been working on that bit by bit for the last 2 months I think I'm only 35% finished with my website. It's not easy making a home page, a good one that is. It takes a lot of courage, determination, patience and hard work to make it happen. Of course, suffering from insomnia also helps.

26 February 2000

Last night I tried very hard to shed a tear. But even a drop won't come. All this sadness and sorrow got me thinking of quitting smoking. I know that it's almost impossible to kick this habit but you can always succeed if you try hard enough. Let's start by stopping to buy all those cigarette packs. That would ease the burden on my woeful financial situation. Plus Mom would be over the moon if she founds out about this. But then, let us not get to excited about this. There's still a high chance that I won't succeed in doing this okay? So curb your enthusiasm for now.

I took a math test today. I just sat there staring blankly at the paper for about an hour or so while everybody else is squeezing their brain trying to answer them questions. After the hour mark, I scribbled some nonsense on the paper so that I didn't look like such a loser. Then I went to the men's room to smoke and promptly send my papers to the invigilator after the break. I shudder to think what my lecturer would think of me once she looked at my paper. Shrugs.

25 February 2000

I sat for another test last night. Although there were only 3 questions, I only managed to answer like 1 and a half. Let us pray that I don't fail this paper. The weather was awesome today. It rained all day just the way I liked it. Yesterday I went to eat at McDonald's in Kajang. And later when I was about to leave, I took home a tray from there. Can you believe it? I took away a freaking tray from McDonald's. That's not all, I also plan to take home one of those beautiful tray from A&W! Too bad I didn't go there often because the price there is absolutely cutthroat, the same with KFC. Only McDonald's is within my budget. I wish they would serve breakfast at their outlet at the Mines Shopping Fair. I still got one free tea/coffee coupon to use for breakfast. I plan to take Tini there sometime next week. She treated me lunch and dinner for a couple a times already and I treated her for like, what, once only? And even that one time I only bought her a lousy bowl of ABC at the college food court. I felt rather guilty about this. Still, I'll have to wait for my salary to come in in the form of MDF (Mom and Dad Finance). I don't have much hope on Dad but at least Mom is a certainty.

Bad news. Uncle Din and family is moving to Sungai Petani soon. That's like 400KM away from here. There goes my laundry weekends not to mention my only source of satellite TV this part of the world. And there's nothing I can do about it.

23 February 2000

My Mom called very early this morning bearing some really good news. She and Grandma had generously donated 30 ringgit into my bank account. What would I do without them.

I felt so awfully bored this afternoon. It was one of those near-death boring experience. How I wished I had classes to go instead. Even if I don't understand a word what the lecturers are saying, at least I can take down notes on my notebooks so that they wouldn't look so empty by the end of the semester. This sheer boredom almost make me wanna go to Kajang or anywhere for that matter. Lucky for me I didn't because it would be a waste of money and fuel if I did. Hooray, my bike is finally out of it's probation period. Now I can ride it more than 80km/h.

I must be the poorest kid in college right now. I got like 90 cents in my pocket. It's not like I didn't try to withdraw the 30 bucks that my Mom gave me but somehow all the BSN ATMs in the vicinity seemed to run out of cash at the same time. Maybe those damn ATM machines is out to get me.

I am now officially a fat slob. I ate two roti canais in the morning, three eggs in the afternoon and a plate of vegetables for dinner. And I got no one but myself to blame. Must start fasting again tomorrow, although I usually do it on Monday, Thursday and Saturday. Serves me right for eating so much.

Later in the evening I woke up from a really horrible dream. I saw my dream girl hugging and kissing with some guy from class. Damn this is so sad.

21 February 2009

It seems there's a very good reason why I didn't bring myself to race last night. Maybe God didn't want me to get into trouble. Right after I got home yesterday, Fendi told me a few kids got arrested for racing on the very same highway. It could have been me. I could be spending a night at a lockup somewhere and my bike confiscated.

God my head felt so heavy and my threat felt really sore tonight. Maybe I just smoked too much. Didn't feel like watching the F.A Cup semifinals tonight. Feel like I'm about to pass out anytime soon. Aston Villa is leading anyway. What's the point watching really when Liverpool is not even playing.

Seeing those lovebirds and couples sitting together at the tables just made me plain jealous. But what can I do? I'm poor and ugly and my hair is a bit too long too my liking. It's time to get them shaved clean again. It's absolutely paramount that I cut my head bald before I even think about picking up any girls. I do look awful with hairs. People even looked differently at me when I do.

These are the times that I felt everything is wrong with the world. The weather is so hot, an ugly kid with a handset is sitting next to me, why can't those damn crickets be quite for a change?

Babe, just remember that it only takes a minute of your precious time to turn around, I'll be two steps behind...

Yeah-yeah whatever.

20 February 2000

Today my friends and I went to help out in a wedding ceremony somewhere in Bangi. FYI we do this sometimes. Go and help to clean the dishes and serve food and in return we get to eat for free. And if we're lucky, they'll give us a couple of boxes of cigarettes. But of course we didn't do it for the reward. Just to help out and lend a helping hand. Tired as we were, it's quite fun doing stuff together.

What happened tonight was most perplexing indeed. I almost got myself racing on the Besraya highway. Too bad Fendi didn't go along with my suggestion. Don't know why but whenever we go for a drink by the highway side and watch some kids go racing, I felt the urge to join them. Tonight the urge was so strong that I was like inches away from joining the fun. God knows what might happen if I did.

But the important thing is I didn't. So here I am sitting in my room like a scared little girl. Maybe I didn't have the balls to go racing. Maybe the whole idea of illegal racing is simply stupid. God help me.

8 February 2000

Tonight I related my tragic love story to my friend Tini. I think she should realise by now that we can't be no more than friends. I hope she understands. She's becoming a really good friend of mine.

To say I am broke right now would be an understatement. Even though my Dad lives not far away, I can't expect him to provide for me as much as he used to can I? He's got a family of his own now and asking so much from him wouldn't be right. Whatever it is, he's still my Dad and nothing can change that, no matter how bad it's been. I do hope he would learn from his mistakes. If only he can stick with a permanent job. I can't remember the last time he had a long term job. He'd be living a much better life right now if he did.

But don't worry Dad, one day when I make it big in life I won't forget you. I'll remember everything you've done for us since we were small. Perhaps I'll send you to perform the Haj with Mom or buy you a car or something.

But first I have to start studying, if I ever want to do something like that.

17 February 2000

For some reason or another, I felt so very sad last night. Got her on my mind again. I missed her. What can I do to get her back? I was so sad that I slept rather early last night. If only she knew.

It's pre-registration time again. I'm so useless. I didn't learn my lesson from last sem. Register early or you'll be in trouble like I am right now. I totally deserve this sheet.

Gawd I'm so hungry at the moment. I fasted during the day and I haven't had my dinner yet. If only I had something to drink or at least a cigarette to smoke. There's nothing edible here to eat in the kitchen and nobody gives a damn about me. But then again I can't blame them really. Nobody asked you to fast in the first place. Looks like I'll have to wait for a few hours more until the guys go out for dinner. Tough luck son.

16 February 2000

What's up people? Looks like the Hate Myself Days is over now. But it won't necessarily mean it won't happen again. I hope it doesn't. It's been a harrowing experience. Wonder when I'm ever going to finish website version 4.0. It's been ages since I started.

Ever since I lost a lot of weight and became skinny... well that's what they all said anyway, I started to enjoy the fruits of my labour. It's nice to see the surprise looks on people's faces. People that I haven't see for some time. It's good to fit into those M-sized t-shirts. I can now wear ready made jeans and pants and not cut one at the tailor's. Now I know why I don't fit into those dresses before. I was too FAT. So boys and girls, size DOES matters (apart from looks of course). Don't believe it when people say weight and size don't matter. They do. People who said that are probably fat themselves. Skinny is good for you, trust me I've been there and done that. Changing from fat to thin that is.

So how did I do it? Easy. Fast at least 2-3 times a week. Eat very-very-very-very little food especially rice. Don't sleep at night, or sleep really late. Avoid carbs. But the most important thing is to get your heart broken by someone you loved so much. Do all that (especially the last one) and you'll get a skeleton figure within 3 months or so. Okay, maybe 6 months.

Hmm, it's going to be a busy day today. Think I'll drop by the lab today to register for next sem and also find out which group I'll be in. Too bad babe, you'll be seeing a lot of me next semester whether you like it or not. That is if you don't go skipping classes again like what you did last sem. But I trust you won't do that. I believe you are better than that.

I've been a real jerk today. Think I brushed off quite a few people the wrong way today. My apologies. Don't take it to hear okay?

14 February 2000

Hey, it's my Mom's birthday today! I mean yesterday. I planned to call her tonight but she called me instead. Happy birthday Mom. I wish that you'll have a long and prosperous life. Well, you should have. For once, you don't smoke unlike me. Who knows she might even live longer than me.

These past few days I've been thinking about owning a house. A real house, all to myself. Not a rented house not a bachelor's pad that you share with a dozen others. I even got a long list of stuff that I'd like to fill my future house with. Furniture, lots of them. I probably have to save a ton of money before I can afford it. Maybe I need to skip lunch too. Hmm. Think I'll probably buy an apartment for around 30K or so. Mom built my home in Pasir Mas for only 25K. It must be around KL or in the Klang Valley at least. But first I must buy myself a brand new RXZ bike. Then I would start working on owning a house. Wouldn't it be great to actually own a house? Having all the rooms, windows and doors all to myself and I can do whatever I like with it?

But of course I need to start studying first and finish it. To buy a house you need to have loads of money which come from your salary which require you to have a job which can only happen after you got yourself a degree. Even if you're planning to apply for a home loan, you'll have to have a job first because they won't just hand out loans to everybody on the street right? What's more you'll probably want to get married and have kids therefore you'll need a house for your family to live in.

It's Valentine's Day today but I don't see what it has to do with me. Anyway we're not supposed to give a damn about it. It's not our culture. It might be different if I got myself a girlfriend at the moment which I don't. If only...

Just makes me sad thinking about her.

At least now I've got a house to keep me motivated for the time being.

12 February 2000

I woke up very early yesterday to pick up my new bike driving license. Kindly Uncle Din dropped me off at the post office. Found out I only have to pay RM5 to make my license. The driving school earlier asked me RM40 for the license. Bloodsuckers. How could they sleep at night? Now I'm a complete man. I have my Identity Card and both car and bike driving license. Just need to find a girlfriend next. I changed my sprocket for 25 bucks today.

Later I met up with Dad at Park View cafe right in the middle of UPM. Yeah he was indeed surprised to see the new me. I also found out first hand about my Mom and Dad love story. Turned out they did met here in UPM, while they were studying. But they didn't get to know each other only after they graduated. I mean after Dad graduated. My Mom dropped out of college somewhere in the middle. Did you know that they were the last batch of diploma students before degree programmes were introduced in Universiti Pertanian Malaysia. Dad even stayed at the 3rd college. But that was then. Now he's living with his new family somewhere in USJ. Dad was still his old big self although I can see he's getting older. I brought Dad to this rented house of ours and he gave me some money before he left.

Hey what do you know, tomorrow is Mom's birthday. Think I'm going to send her a card and even a phone call. I've never send her one before, a card. What's got into me?

11 February 2000

I fasted today. About time too. I did pretty much nothing today except lay around and watch TV. Well if it isn't me, whose gonna watch all those Astro channels they subscribed? In the afternoon I stopped by my dig for a while and the strolled down to the Mines Shopping Fair cause I was like so bored.

Surprise-surprise. Dad called last night. We are to meet in UPM tomorrow. This shall be our first meeting in like 2 years. Wonder how he looks like now. Wonder if he'd be surprised to see the new me. Whatever it is, I actually look forward to this reunion. I've got loads of question to ask.

Today is also my last day here in Kinrara. I took a couple of supplies from the fridge. Wonder if they will notice. Somehow Grandma sounded not too happy staying here at the moment. Kept talking about leaving this place over and over again. Poor grandma. I think she felt a little unwelcomed here. Unfortunately I don't want to get embroiled is this family feud.

9 February 2000

You know what? It feels so gooOOOoood finally having a valid motorcycle driving license. For the train ride back to KL I sat next to a nice girl, probably older than me. Hey haven't you heard? The guy sitting next to you just passed his motorcycle license test! Can you feel his aura?

Unfortunately for me, the rest of the journey was really-really terrible. I had a splitting headache and even after I pasted some koyok on my forehead, the pain didn't go away. Later on, I dug into some Mr. Potato and Ice Cream Soda drink which proved to be a HUGE mistake. My stomach started to rumble and grumble like crazy. I don't know why I had Ice Cream Soda in the first place. I never liked that drink. Worse still, I was so much in pain I didn't get to know the girl next seat much. I can safely say that was probably my worst train ride evar!

From the train station, I took a Komuter to my uncle's place in Sungai Buloh. That's when I found out somebody broke my bike's kick-start pedal. I got the feeling that someone is none other than my cousin Faris. I didn't have the heart to ask them to fix it but lucky for me, Grandma made such a big deal about it that my uncle felt compelled to fix it. It costs 28 ringgit some more mind you.

8 February 2000

1:41 AM

Exactly 8 hours and 9 minutes to go before the test. Anxious, nervous, scared, you name it. Currently watching Dumb and Dumber starring Jim Carey you know to ease the tense. God knows what will happen in the morning. I've come to the part where I just cannot wait to get it over with. Previously this feeling only come during exam times. But the last time it happened, I passed with flying colours for my SPM. Take it as they come they say. Think I'm going to bed after this dumb movie ends.


The last few minutes before the test I was a nervous wreck to put it mildly. Nevertheless I managde to put on a straight face and didn't show it much to the public. I think I had not only butterflies but also centipedes, worms, mosquitoes and a few other bugs as well in my stomach. During the test, I almost tipped over the elevated bridge but thank God I didn't. Today my life is complete. I feel like a real man finally. Now I only have to find a girlfriend jer.

God it's hot today.

7 February 2000

Liverpool beat the league leaders Leeds United 3-1 yesterday. And I even watched the entire match from start to end some more. Just when I thought I'm a jinx to my favourite football team, Liverpool actually won even when I watch them play.

I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. My ankle hurts for no apparent reason. Uncle Din just adds another member to his family today. Another healthy bouncy baby boy. That's like 4 boys and 1 girl now. Grandma will be in town by train some time today.

My life has never been so frantic than these previous couple of days. I went evry where. The train ride to Pasir Mas was quite pleasant. The coach was like freaking cold but I did meet some of my uni friends on board so at least I got company. As soon as I got home, I quickly grab my Uncle nan's bike to practice for tomorrow's test. Yes, tomorrow is D-Day. The day I'm sitting for my motorcycle license test. Believe it or not, my car driving license is full already but I didn't have a bike license yet. I do hope I will past the test tomorrow. A lot of people is going to be deeply disappointed if I didn't. Mom for once, threw out a lot of money for me to sit for this test. I for another, am so very tired of practising and training for this. Wish me luck! (Amen).

5 February 2000

Since it's Saturday and I don't want to be alone at home (well except with Yus), I decided to crash at my other uncle's place in Sungai Buloh. I took the KTM Komuter here since it's much cheaper (and I plan to pau my uncle later on). No Astro here but check out their awesome home theatre set. I watched Drive Me Crazy for the 7th times today. When will I ever get tired of watching that movie. My Uncle Din is expecting another baby very-very soon. I'm sure he's a really-really happy man right now. Wonder how's my own babies is going to be like. I think I'm gonna have 7. 4 girls and 3 boys he he.

2 February 2000

Yesterday Isa and I went for a tour around Shah Alam. If I can describe Shah Alam in one word, it would be empty. I mean there's hardly any crowd around. Even the shopping mall is void of people. But on the other hand, it's a good thing too because at least we can enjoy the peace and serenity here not like KL or PJ. We visited among others, the state library which was really huge but too bad we didn't stay for long there. Isa had to drag me away cause I was so preoccupied with all the books and magazines there. Then we visited the world famous Shah Alam mosque. I think the automatic tap would be really cool if only there wasn't so many of them broken. We went to a few other places too and we had lunch in section 2. I didn't see Lina anywhere though. Perhaps she's busy with class. On the way back somehow we detoured to Sungai Buloh and Kepong and pass by Bandar Utama. That's when I first saw One Utama. It was like the coolest shopping mall I've ever seen. We didn't stop by there though cause it's already so late (9:00 PM). Maybe next time.

I love my bike, Yes that battered red RX-Z bike. It is my first bike ever. I feel like I can never get tired of riding it over and over again. I wish I could do something with the crooked tank. One day I'll make you the envy of every other bikes in Taman Desa Serdang. Sleep tight baby.