15 June 2018



A few weeks before this Hari Raya, I was dreading going back home to our home towns. This year we were going to spend the Raya eve in Tanah Merah as per our rotational arrangement. I have no problem staying in Tanah Merah but rumours has it that our usual room will be occupied by somebody else and me and family will have to sleep in the living room/family area. It's an uncomfortable thought. I was so used to being in the room all the time, now how am I supposed to hide, I mean sleep during daylight or play with my laptop all day long? It's a nightmare scenario. Like it or now, there are another new addition to the extended family now and the veterans like us will have to make way. That I understand very well but still the thought had me in full dread mode.

Much to my surprise, the moment we arrived in kampung Sat, we were ushered to our usual room. Apparently somebody else will have to make way which is fine by me. That said I know it's a matter of time before my family and I will be ousted from our room. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Perhaps I should consider going back and spending more time in Pasir Mas instead, my own home town which I've been neglecting to return so often after I got married. Either way will it surprise anybody if I am ever so more reluctant to go back home to Kelantan after this?

This year is the first time my siblings and I celebrate Hari Raya without our Dad, you know, since he's been gone. Gone are the days we were forced to meet at a restaurant or mall somewhere since Mother and Grandma were not so keen to see us visiting our stepmother's place. The only place that we can visit now is his grave in Lorong Kubur Piah next to the primary school. It almost break our hearts to see the dilapidated state of his burial site. There were still no headstone or /belindan/ so to speak and overgrown with bush. I guess his wife don't even bother anymore. I heard she has moved to Rantau Panjang and doesn't live in that village anymore. So it is up to us, his sons and daughters to take care of his gravesite. Which we will do in due time. I worry if we don't act soon, somebody might accidentally dig his gravesite and bury another body there. Remind me to not get divorce and live far away from my children so that they don't neglect my gravesite when I die.

The journey back to KL is the usual nightmare scenario. Even after taking the East-West highway via Grik, we were still caught in a crawl from Ipoh to Rawang. Did I tell you I don't like going back to Kelantan?