29 November 2000

It was probably the most beautiful government hospital that I've been to. Perhaps because it is still very new but whatever it is I was certainly impressed with Selayang hospital. That said, the road leading to this hospital is not exactly smooth. Reminds me of Dakar - Paris rally or something like that. Anyway, Mom is much better now after the doctor cut all her eye lashes. Eventhough she will look kinda weird now it's a small matter since they would grow back in no time.

Faiz had finished with his registration in UiTM. You better do well here man because I used my precious 500 bucks to pay for the fees. The rainy season has certainly arrived. It rained almost every single day. Don't know why but this fasting month I get really sleepy like all the time. My studies is progressing alright at the moment. And with this new desk and work lamp, I have no excuse not to study hard. My finances is okay now but it won't be so soon since there seem so much things I had to buy these days.

28 November 2000

Last Saturday we went to Lina's graduation ceremony at UiTM Shah Alam. Mom arrived rather late in the morning causing her to miss the entry into the hall. So while Grandma get to go in, Mom and I just sat under the tent outside where they set up two big screen TVs with live broadcast of what's happening inside. I guess that would do although I sense Mom wanted to be much closer. I mean this is her children's first ever graduation and your know how parents feel about this things. The entire ceremony was a long one too. Graduations are cool but the waiting is something I could do without. I did all the driving today and both my Mom and Grandma had a field day nagging about my driving. In the end I couldn't take it anymore and maybe deliberately crashed into a road divider near Seremban. Lucky it was just a minor scratch under the bumper. Funny they all just kept quiet after that.

Faiz meanwhile gave up his matriculation program and the declined the offer from Petronas to go into UiTM. Looks like he wants to follow Lina's footstep by taking up a diploma course there. Personally I think my brother made a rather bad call here. Both matriculation and Petronas hold a much brighter future for you. That said, it is his life and his call and I wouldn't want to get in his way. Besides, the rest of my family member didn't seem to object to his decision. Good luck to you bro.

In other news, we started fasting yesterday. Yes it's Ramadhan already. While some people dread this month I on the other hand actually look forward to it. After all, I've been fasting twice a week every Monday and Thursday so it made little difference to me fasting everyday now. Later in the afternoon Grandma called me bearing some bad news. Somehow my Mom accidentally poured some glue into her eyes which she thought was some eye drops. She was immediately rushed to the hospital and thankfully the doctor managed to remove most of the glue. However when she woke up the next morning, she couldn't open her right eye. So here I am back in Sungai Buloh yo send Mom the Selayang hospital tomorrow. Hopefully this time she would get much better. It just breaks my heart to see her like that. I guess this is a test from Him. You know I prayed for my mom and dad after each prayer. You be strong now Mom.

25 November 2000

For most people, birthdays should be a special occasion in their lives. That said, they are some people who just don't care or didn't even remember about birthdays either theirs or their loved ones. As for me, only my Mom and Grandma remembers my birthday. And oh yeah my siblings also of course. Dad and everybody else kinda forgot about it. To be honest I was hoping for H to call me and wish happy birthday or something. Ha ha, we'd sooner send a Malaysian to space! Other than that, Rose also forgot about my birthday. Fancy her wanting to be my girlfriend and everything. Maybe she's busy with some exam or something.

Oh well, my gloominess aside I managed to do something very special yesterday. I went for my first ever blood donation yesterday. Funny when they took my blood pressure the first time it was not high enough. Only on the second take that I passed for donation. That was something. My first blood donation. Too bad I also found out my blood type is just plain O+ not A as I thought all this while. I guess those doctors who took my blood sample in school screwed up then. Well, at least I'm now a generous universal blood donor. Come take my blood. I'm really looking forward to my next blood donation which should be in 3 month's time. I want to fill this tiny red book all the way like my Dad did.

Later I went to the Mines Shopping Fair with a little hope that I might stumble into H and his boyfriend or whatever like I did last year. That didn't happen. Hmm, how do you spell l.o.s.e.r? Damn.

So here I am now in Sungai Buloh at my uncle's place. Grandma and Lina is here too. I better go to sleep right now cause Grandma is incessantly nagging to me like she sometimes does. I don't really want to talk back and hurt her feelings or something so good night.

24 November 2000

20 years ago at exactly this time, I was born. Happy Birthday to me. First and foremost I'd like to thank God for everything. Hmm. That's about it. I slept very early yesterday meaning to wake up at about this time to do something to commemorate my birthday. So I did. I performed solat hajat and then watched Ally McBeal, again. 20 years is quite some thing isn't it? I've learnt a lot since, no doubt about it. I'm almost an adult now and next year I'll be eligible to vote. Not that I cared so much about it anyway. This special day I try not to remember much about H for once. Well, that didn't work. Anyway I'm rather sleepy at the moment but I want to force myself to stay up.

My birthday resolution is to get slimmer. Yeah, right. Who cares anyway. Then again, life is sometimes about caring what other people think because we don't live alone in this world. We need each other to live and love.

I'd really like to go to sleep now but I think I'll write a little bit more. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get married. Come to think of it, that's the beauty of life. You'll never know what you'll be in the future. But remember, the choice is yours and you are responsible for every action. Wait, that sounded kinda lame and normal. I don't want to be normal. I'd like to be different and special. Normal is for mere mortals. Wonder what I would be in 20 years time. Maybe I finally got married with dozens of kids. Now, isn't that lovely. The first class is at 8:00 AM and I am trying very hard not to miss any more classes from now on, no matter how sucky it is. If I sleep now, I'd probably miss the class. So I think I'm gonna smoke a few cigarettes. Yeah-yeah it's dangerous and causes cancer. Shoot me.

23 November 2000

Last week everybody was like very broke and poor and miserable including me. I was the poorest of all since I got like 1 ringgit in my wallet. Even then, that 1 ringgit note is a brand new one and I don't plan on spending it anytime soon. I'm so broke I had to borrow money from Isa and Jai. How embarrassing.

Today however, most of the students walk with a smile on their faces. The loan money is finally in 2 weeks after signing that stupid agreement paper. Let's hope they will spend it wisely. As for me I spent 800 ringgit on the first day, paying off debts and buying some necessary stuffs like a brand new shoes and hair cutter. A few hours ago I bought 3 volumes of Ally McBeal VCDs which was on sale at The Mines. I bought it without thinking twice despite the 87 ringgit price. Calista Flockhart is like my inspiration and motivation. I once was crazy about Drive Me Crazy the movie because of H but now I became obsessed with Calista because of Rose. That is all because she looks a little bit like her. Now that I got the VCDs I can watch her over and over again and not just every Monday on TV. How blissful.

Tomorrow is my 20th birthday. Wonder how many people will remember it. H obviously is not one of them. Anyway my Mom and the entire family is going to Lina's graduation tomorrow. Even though it's just a diplome, I'm still so proud of my sister.

22 November 2000

Roslinda Mohamed or just Rose as she likes to be known was born and raised in Kota Tinggi, Johore. I first met her while doing my matriculation in KIYPJ in Johore Bharu in 1998. Her best friend is Aida of course, you know the girl who used to be crazy about me? Rose is not exactly the prettiest or the best looking girl around but what she lacks in the looks department, she more than made up for it with charm, wit and friendliness. And those were they qualities that kept me in touch with her all this while.

I suppose we are still friends although a very-very close one. I was quite stunned and speechless when she wanted to be serious with me. Even uttered those 3 magic words via SMS. I know that she wasn't kidding about being serious but I'm just afraid I would be yet another guy who would disappoint her in life. To be honest, I don't think I deserve her. She's just too good for me. That's why I made it clear to her that I would like us to be no more than friends and she must not place too much on hope on me. For now I don't think I'm ready to open the door to my heart to just about any girl yet. But who knows later on.

Anyway, us being so far away from each other is another stumbling block that prevents me from accepting her. I don't think long distance-relationships will always work. When even married couples fail in such relationships, what more friends or lovers. I do hope she would find someone better than me soon. You be strong now Rose.

13 November 2000

Before we are to get our loan money, we had to sign this agreement paper thingy. I don't know why but we had to do that like each and every time. So yesterday morning me and my housemates all went together to the main hall. There we were with like half of the student population waiting in line to get their papers signed. But before that we had to get our reference numbers which was posted next door at the administrative building. I was quite lucky because mine was rather easy to find. The others was not so lucky. The crowd was really huge and the place was packed like sardines. Worst of all some of the numbers was torn apart or just went missing in all the commotion. Just imagine.

Back in the main hall, I almost give just looking at the ridiculously long queue. Somehow I braved myself to sneak in up front so instead of waiting for hours, it took me like half an hour to finish. I felt like hugging the boy behind me for being such a sport.

Consequently I got to work half an hour late. Lucky for me I arrived when it was about to rain. Quite a few people didn't turn up for work today so I end up working overtime. Mom just deposited a generous 60 bucks into my account. She is God-send. I hope that would last until I get my loan money. Now is more than ever the time to start saving and eat less.

This week happens to be the start of the semester also. I hope I will do well this time. I simply had to. There's so much at stake.

12 November 2000

Late at night and I just got back from another tiring shift at McDonald's. This time the O.C (whatever that means) visited the store. Nobody likes her this Devi, always looking for people's fault and a few could really satisfy her. Unmarried and devotes everything for McDonald's.

I started working hear on the 21st of March earlier this year. During school term I work exclusively on weekends but on holidays including semester break, I work as many days as I can. The store is quite small compared to other stores I've been to but that also means less work. There are basically 4 job descriptions here; counter, kitchen, lobby and V.I.P a.k.a the janitor or cleaning person. As management positions goes, there are the floor manager, counter manager, shift manager, 1st assistant and the store manager. Your career starts as a crew with the average salary of 3 ringgit per hour depending on store. If you work long enough (with a good evaluation record) you should climb the career ladder and become the crew leader before going into management later on. But of course promotion is only reserved for full timers with part timers like me had to content with that meager 10 cent per year increment. Horrible, I know. Besides, promotion will mean more works and I'm just happy with my current work load and pay as of now.

The crews here are quite alright, friendly and very understanding. I have no problem whatsoever with the older crews but the newer ones could be a pain in the ass. This fat, smelly and dirty boy N for example treats this store like his own. I just can't stand his sight (and smell). Most of the crew here are in their 20s except for the V.I.P, makcik Hasnah who's in her 40s.

Working here has its ups and downs. The managers are quite okay except for sometimes they could be quite bossy, telling you to do this and that. You have 30 minutes break with free meal which is after a months or so could be quite boring. Usually you'll be working for 6 to 8 hours shift not including overtime. So why did I chose Uda Ocean store instead of the others? Well for once the nearest McDonald's to my place didn't have any vacancies at that time. Second my 1st assistant manager here at the store was so awesome to hire me on the spot during my interview. To be honest, I'm so glad I got the job here instead of anywhere else. Who knew how the other place would be like. I mean you could not get a better crew and manager than where I work now. From what I've heard, other stores could be a nightmare with strict managers and lousy crews.

8 November 2000

Today is the beginning of the new semester. I was nervous as hell today when I went to pick up my result. Alhamdulillah I got 2 As, one B+ and another D for SAK 3101. What a relief. Now my pointers are finally back on track. I promise this semester I would study really hard. Got to start early if I don't want to struggle at the last minute like before. It's sad that I don't get to see H yet. Perhaps she'll show up later. I hope she is good whatever she's doing.

The boys are back and most of them have put up weight like I did. The loan money is not in yet so everybody is broke right now. Well I'm sure they're not as broke as I am because they just came back from home. Not unlike me who has to work my ass down everyday and still be broke.

The Sheila On 7 craze is in town. The song 'Dan' is really haunting that I spent some of my precious money to buy the cassette. Although the music is good, the band members looked pretty average if not downright fugly.

Rose's place was broken in to a few days ago. She must be terrified. I hope she's okay now. OMG my tummy is turning into Zaril's!