19 March 2016

March 2016 was my brother in law’s wedding month. Their love story is a bit complicated because the father of the bride didn’t really approve of the relationship. My BIL used to work with the bride’s father, let’s call him B. When the business goes south, my BIL quit the job thus leaving a sour taste in their relationship. While working there, my BIL had a relationship with his eldest daughter, my new sister in law. When they finally decided to get married, B indignantly refused to give his blessing and wants nothing to do with the wedding including giving his permission as the wali (guardian). My BIL and FIL went through great lengths to get B to play ball but he steadfastly refused.

In the had they had to do the next logical thing which is to get married in Thailand. You see according to local Islamic law, if the father of the bride is still alive and his whereabouts is known and he somehow refused to give his permission for marriage, you cannot appoint another person as the wali. Somehow that does not apply in our neighboring country so they all went there to solemnize the marriage and just do the reception at home later. Sure they’ll be fined by the local religious authorities for marrying outside of their district but desperate times calls for desperate measures. It baffles me that in this day and age they are still parents who just can’t let their children be happy and bless their marriage. If this is a western country with western values it wouldn’t be an issue. However since this is an Islamic country, there are norms and rules to adhere to.

In spite of that, the wedding and reception went well and everything ran according to plan. We went to his reception in Maran, Pahang and also in my BIL’s place in Tanah Merah. All his siblings and a few relatives came to help including one boyfriend and his brother from Perak. I know they meant well which is to help out with the wedding but it is still awkward to have somebody without any formal relationship sleeping at your place. I mean I wouldn’t think of staying long at my girlfriend’s place for whatever reason. Until I am part of the family, it’s off limits. Maybe I’m just old-fashioned.

The day after the wedding, half of my family member is down with diarrhea. It didn’t take long to find the culprit which was the reheated ayam masak merah which everybody that got sick ate later that evening. Fortunately for me I have this habit of not eating anything made early in the day and especially yesterday’s food. Today my fussiness is totally justified and damn that felt good.

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