22 April 2023



Instead of perusing the regular Gombak - Karak - Gua Musang route, I decided to take the PLUS highway for this year's Eid celebrations. We've got to thank PMX Anwar for the free toll on all highways because otherwise we could still be plying the old route. There's much car on the road and intermittent traffic jam here and there but nothing like the regular jams that we had in Karak, Gua Musang and Kuala Krai. I don't know if I wanna use the old way again after this. In the end, we arrived in Tanah Merah after 8 and a half hours on the road including four unscheduled stops. That's a lot shorter than the usual 12 hours minimum that we spend on the road on past Eid travels.

This year we're supposed to spend some time at my mother's place in Pasir Mas. What happened was, mother recently turned our ancestral home into a rental unit. She spent nearly 10k to renovate that house, creating partitions with doors, building a simple kitchen on the balcony and what not. I warned her before that we might not be staying there much after all that but she simply brushed aside my concerns. She keep suggesting that we all sleep in one of the two rooms upstairs. Now I've lived in that house for nearly a decade and I can assure you that the two bedrooms upstairs are so hot during the day as well as at night. There's no way I would make my family suffer the indignity of staying in an oven. Consequently, my family and I spent another Eid in Tanah Merah instead.

We did visit mother in the morning on the first day of Eid. After a short rest at Matok's house, we went to Lot 173. After the renovation, it was unrecognizable from my childhood place. We can only hang around the well/fish pond area or the kitchen that has been in which half of it has been turned into mother's bedroom. The old living area is off limits since she boarded them all up with literal plywoods. I look at people's Instagram pages and see families taking Raya pictures in their nice living room and gardens. No such thing for my family because it has been transformed into a rented space. Mother would probably be happy with the 700 ringgit monthly rent that she got but at the price of not seeing her children more during festive celebrations.

Incidentally, Lina and her family also came home this time. But just like us, she refused to sleep in the upstairs bedroom because of the same reason as mine. Is it worth it mother?

We did hung around mother's place for an hour or two before retreating to Matok's place next door. Why does my grandma and mother not live together? If you read my blog I should have told you the reason but basically, they can't seem to see eye to eye on much of everything. That pretty much sums up mother. She has a knack of turning people away from her, including her family.

The rest of my extended family - my uncles, aunts, cousins, nephew and nieces along with the family gathered at Matok's place that day. The only person conspicuously missing was who else, my mother of course. Did I tell you she had a fight, not literally but more like some unpleasant exchange of words with my aunt Yati and they have not mend things up since? When I suggested that she patch things up with her sister, mother insisted that my aunt should be doing the patching up and apologizing since she's older than her. Ego? Pride? Wrath? Pick one. One thing for sure, you're not going to find my mother in this year's extended family photo.

I only heard about it a few days ago when Matok called me but there was a major quarrel between Matok and my mother (who else), after we left Pasir Mas. Apparently, mother was upset when her brother and his family didn't come visit after she ordered so much food for everybody. Naturally she brought up things about the land where Matok's house was built. I can only quietly shake my head in disbelief upon hearing that. I'm just worried that mother might be spending much of her remaining time back home alone.

In the afternoon, Lina's family and I went to Pasir Pekan near Kota Bharu to visit father's grave. Determined not to let his grave being overrun by bushes like last time, I brought along a little machete and plastic bags to clear the area. Lina's husband, Zaidi along with his son and Adam also helped. We finally went back to Tanah Merah later that evening, tired and dirty. Only one of Linda's sibling was at home this year because the others took turns to celebrate at their in-laws place.

If I want to rate my Eid celebration this year, I would give it a low two stars. Partly because of the drama surrounding my mother, also because of the unforgivingly hot weather but mainly because of the 14 hours we spent on the road on the way back. Evidently about a million other Malaysians didn't miss the chance to use the toll free road on the last day of the holiday. Remind me to book extra days off next year to avoid the rush and madness. Did I mention I'm also broke after spending all those money that I don't have?

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